2/22/25 - A Freestyle Pottery Post from the Hardest Working Man in Pots + There Are Plants for Sale / It’s All for Sale

It’s 1:18 a.m. on a Friday evening (technically it’s already Saturday morning) and I’m staring at a computer trying to think of a fresh way to spin another “come on down, we’ve got some pots for sale” style pottery post to lure you to my place of business:

A House of Pots

1620 w 74th way, Denver, CO 80221

You see, you don’t have to use common sense to see that all these great things aren’t free. That’s because I spell it out for you, in fun and amusing ways with a cadence and candor uncommon on digital marketplaces. 

Unfortunately, crafting compelling sales copy isn’t always a walk in the park. Usually, it takes a little bit of motivation or inspiration to crank out Craigslist bangers; but, since I find myself in a similar situation to where I’ve produced so many winners before (in front of a blank screen in the middle of the night with nothing to show for a truly lackadaisical effort so far), I thought I’d give it the ol’ college try and fry a few brain cells (both yours and mine) in the process. 

Instead of picking up where I left off on one of the many incomplete sales posts that I’ve begun drafting, which include themes of, but are not limited to:

* One Thai, at Plant Camp - Pottery and Houseplants for Sale

* Sup? Buying Discount Plants and Pottery from A Super Gremlin. That’s What’s Up.

* They Not Like Us - Unliked By County and Competition - Haters Hate Us ‘Cuz They Ain’t Us - Oh Yeah I Still Sell Plants and Pots

* I Was Put Here For a Purpose and It’s Not Yet Fulfilled - Pottery & Plants for Sale

* Searching for the Next Oprah: Permanent Pottery Liquidation + More Pots for Sale / Buy Plants from Space Oprah

* Pot Game MC Grindah for the People Who Just Do Nothing - Pottery and Plants for Sale

(I’ll need to rewatch bits of this series to get back in the right frame of mind)

* The Pottery Manifesto - Plants + Pottery for Sale

* I Might Just Be a Buysecksual - You’ll Have to Buy My Pottery to Be Sure - Plants and Pots for Sale

(Dang that’s a good one + I started writing this one EXACTLY one year ago to the day [2/22/24 and today is 2/22/25]. Looks like it was meant to be.)

* Pot Game Doogie Howser - Getting Surgical with These Discounts - Plants and Pots for Sale

* A Game of Pots - A Song of Vice and Buyers / Plants & Pottery 4 Sale

(This one is going to be epic)

* The Fort Knox of Pots - You Can’t Knock on These Low, Low Prices - Plants and Pots for Sale

* Did You Lay with Another? Buy Them Plants + Pots

(Not sure where I was going with this one, but let’s put it on the list)

* Pot Game Deion $anders - Pottery & Plants for Sale by a Coach in His Prime 

* The Pottery Mines - A Concept Centering Around the Notion Pottery Is Mined from the Earth like Gems or Bitcoin - Plus Plants & Planters for Sale

* The Plant Pimp - What Up Player? Waddup Pimp - Plants and Pots for Sale

* Every Plant You Have Will Need a Bigger Pot One Day and I'll Still Be Here - Plants + Pots 4 Sale

* I've Got a Golden Opportunity for You: Be the Cool Mom - Plants + Pots for Sale

* Introducing the Lady Tax - Men Meet Women at A House of Pots But They Have to Pay - Plants and Pots for Sale

* It Was All a Dream - A House of Pots - Plants and Pottery for Sale

(Look at how this one begins:

One night I woke from a dream. 

In that dream I met the Pottery Geesus and he told me: "Unto every plant, a pot; and into every pot, a plant. Go forth. Multiply".

For many a day these words disturbed me, and on the fourth, I went forth, with the intent to multiply.)

* Hey There Baby Boy I Got Your Pots - Pottery & Plants for Sale

… I’m going to take a break from reflecting on all this writing I haven’t completed for a moment and watch another episode of Gravity Falls. If you’ve never heard of the show before, I’m a big fan. Feel free to chat with me about it in person, at:

1620 w 74th way Denver CO 80221

From 12 to 6

Friday through Sunday 

(for now - expect 6 days a week of operation during and right before Spring, and then back to diminished hours again from July until whenever I feel like it)

Contact me about Gravity Falls or pottery at: 

@ahouseofpots

- or -

<< 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >>

So, yeah, while you’re taking the time to read what I wrote about how I’m supposedly the hardest working man in pots and that there are plants for sale as well as the fact that it’s definitely all for sale, I’m gonna go watch a show real quick. 

Be right back. 

But yeah, real quick, this is all for show and it’s all for sale. Plants are up to 50% off. Ask me how. Pots range from $1 to $25 on standard terracotta. Handmade items from Mexico are $10 to $190, but $100 or less mostly. I’ve got glazed 6” pots for $5 and 19” tall stoneware planters for $90.

But seriously, let me watch one episode and I promise I’ll pick up where I left off. Turning on Season 2 Episode 12 titled “A Tale of Two Stans” now. Be right back. I promise. 

Wow, that was a great episode. Grunkle Stan origin story, a total rip off, what a racket, Shmebulock, Sr. A House of Pots is kind of like a Murrder Hut, I mean a Mystery Shack of sorts, when you think about it. I mean, it has a Murrder Basement.

What? Where am I? Why am I standing in some sort of goofy, fun, knick knack house. These are some things you might say upon visiting A House of Pots and are also direct quotes from Gravity Falls Season 2 Episode 12 titled “A Tale of Two Stans”. 

So back to business. Why should you choose me, A House of Pots, to give all your hard earned gardening and plant dollars to? That’s easy. It’s because I can do things and offer value that few others can. For beginners, I held your attention to this point, didn’t I? Minimally, I’m human, and you’re a human too, and the humane thing is to visit a human operated small business to see whether their goods and services are on par with, if not superior to, billion dollar corporations, big box hardware bros, and cantankerous garden centers that look at customers like cash cows. 

(Spoiler alert: I came to compete, complete with a concrete value proposition anchored in quality, style, individuality, and low, low prices)

Oh rats, suddenly it’s 2:52 and I’ve been watching more television than sales post writing. Let me get some rest and I’ll pick this back up in the morning. Promise. 

<< Zzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzz >> 

Morning came to pass and I was gassed, so I brought my computer to my place of work, A House of Pots, hoping to get some work done on this post, but it was a busy day for the most part and I had to pass on getting more writing done until the evening. 

That’s where we find myself now, the hardest working man in pots, working hard on giving you the posts with the most that you so certainly deserve. 

You know what you also deserve? For me to get around to telling you about what’s free. You saw some text that said FREE and now here you are, wondering the eff you’re doing reading this all when all you really wanted was some free stuff. 

Feel free to take freely from all of the following which is completely free:

Free small succulents for people with plant tattoos 

Free cuttings 

Free slices of cardboard 

Free handfuls of soil 

Free potting services

Free resin planters

Free pallets when I don’t want them

Free styrofoam for the whole family 

Free nursery pots while supplies last

Free dead plants

Free severely cracked pots

Free pottery shards

Free broken pots to break even harder for slow motion videos

Free pottery jargon

Free high fives

Free low fives

Freestyle pottery posts 

Free Nelly Furtado references 

Free like a bird, I'll only fly away

I don't know where my soul is (soul is)

I don't know where my home is

Nevermind. Yeah, I do. It’s at A House of Pots. The home of low, low prices.

Let’s stop and appreciate the hard work that goes into handcrafted pottery jargon:

First you take a word like “running” and then you insert it next to a noun like “Greeley”, all while climbing ever closer to a location like Northglenn, but not forgetting to mention keywords like “planters”, “Arvada”, “Brighton”, or clusters like “pottery shop near me.” Listen Louisville, I’m efficient at fishing for customers who’ll come the direction of Federal Heights in search of the best prices on stoneware in Denver, Westminster, Thornton or wherever. You see, indoor gardens need succulents, and I’ve got a houseplant or succulent in my plant shop overloaded with plants for all the patrons in Parker who want to grow aloe on a plant stand with a new plant in a discount red clay pot. I drive into my shop from Boulder so you, the gardener, can behold, -er, this plant store near me with cactus, porcelain, terracotta, and all the goods you gotta grab even though you live in Castle Rock. Need new MCM style cylinder pottery? I’ve more than you’ll find in Centennial, Littleton, and Lakewood any day. I’ve got those plants near me, so quit hiking and come on down from the trees Commerce City because I’ve got the pottery near me Loveland loves to see. Houseplants? Check. Jargon, pottery barn? Double check. Gardening gear at garage sale prices with monster monstera, philodendron, and cacti? Triple check. So forget that Superior yard sale, for my ceramics can hold many a tree in fiber cement, ceramic, plastic, or glazed pots. Broomfield, Golden, Erie, and Longmont, look no longer for the best pottery store near me, for you have found it, and house plants, and an indoor garden pottery shop with just the house plant that you need. This estate sale style business is near Wheat Ridge, a jaunt from Aurora, and an outright galavant from Fort Collins, but if you want the benefits of a green greenhouse with all these pots near me, you know who to come see: the hardest working man in pottery jargon. 

So yeah, there you have it. I didn’t complete any of the better posts I mentioned above, but I did slap this one together. So slap a cat and call your Aunt Sally and tell her you’re coming down to A House of Pots because you don't know what the fcuk you just read; you just know that you need to be here. 

Be about it. 

And be a doll and do tell me which of the aforementioned post concepts above you want to see me flesh out next after all. 

If I had to pick one myself, I’d lean towards << insert aforementioned post concept here >>. Yeah, that one would be sick. 

*** Just kidding, I’d probably choose “I Might Just Be a Buysecksual - You’ll Have to Buy My Pottery to Be Sure” because that’s pure gold and I can’t believe I haven’t done that concept justice yet. Be sure to visit and tell me what you think I should finish first; especially if you think you might be a little buysecksual yourself. Be about it. ***