2/24/24 - I Adopted a Senior Citizen and He's Expensive - Please Help - Pots and Plants for Sale

If you’re familiar with my work, you may have realized that I’ve been out of the picture for a moment in terms of original content. Frankly, my hands have been full, but let me paint a picture for you if you will:

There comes a time in every man's life when he has to adopt an old man 45 years his senior. No, you say? That's just me? Normal people don't formally adopt elderly handymen? Well, darn. 

Recently I decided to adopt a senior citizen named Rudolfo Vazquez. He doesn’t live with me, but I give him just enough money to keep his head above water. 

As it turns out though, paying his water bills doesn't grow on trees. 

I already operated a pottery and plant business called A House of Pots, but I’ve found myself in a pickle with no pot to poop in here with ol’ Rudy boy. 

See, it turns out that paying for an adult child is expensive. His senior hygiene products, well, those don’t grow on trees. Raising kids in 2023 is no joke. 

I’ll get into the details later, but in a nutshell, I’m Rudy’s dad now and I have to show my son how to live right.

That’s why it’s the right time to tell you about all these pots and plants I have for sale.

Come on down and help me feed my 84-year-old son at:

A House of Pots

1620 w 74th way Denver CO 80221

Saturdays and Sundays from 11-6

Feel free to contact me about sponsoring Rudy’s feed bill at:

<< 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >> 

- or - 

@ahouseofpots

Hopefully your taste in pots and plants near Denver is more diverse than my boy’s taste in animal shaped nuggets. I swear, if the nugget isn’t dino shaped, lil’ Rudy won’t touch it. Sure, there’s a few dinos he’ll accept, such as pterodactyl or triceratops, but if I hand him a nugget that’s chicken shaped, ooohhhh, loooorrrdd, we’s about to have some problems. 

Let me give you some fatherly advice about pricing. It’s just like I tell Rudy, “son, just know that whatever I tell you, you have to pay it.”

Terracotta pots cost between $1 and $40 for sizes between 3” and 18.1”. 

There are corresponding trays for most sizes. 

Handmade Mexican clay ranges between $12 and $220 depending on the sizes. Rudy has to get paid. 

Glazed ceramic planters cost between $5 and $130 on average for 3” to 18” covering most styles and makes. 

People tell me I should put my son in a nursing home, but I sell plants in plastic nursery pots instead. They cost between $5 and $45 for the most part, covering the 2” to 8” spectrum. Plants in 10” nursery planters or larger may cost more, and like with Rudy’s low test scores, we’ll deal with that on a case by case basis.  

I’m testing the waters on some new participation based discounts. Willing participants can take an additional $5 off their purchase if they Google review my shop or tag @ahouseofpots in an Instagram post while at my store. Ask about our occasional liquidation sales going on at A House of Pots because one way or another, Rudy’s liquid diet doesn't grow on trees. 

It’s true, virtually nothing is free at this Rudyfied plant and pottery place of business, but I think we can spare some of all of the following: 

Free potting services

Free extra dirt

Free cardboard

Free cards with Rudy

Rudy can help you load your pots

Free will to request the Rudolfo Vazquez Christmas Calendar

You’re free to kick Rudy if we can film it

I’ll give you Rudy’s number for free

Free Rudy-sized discounts on multi item purchases

Sparing your children from long conversation with Senior Rudy

Free art that Rudy tries to sell and we’ll just give it away instead

Freedom to tell me no just like Rudy does any time I ask him to do some work

Free pottery jargon 

A lot of people don't like POTTERY JARGON, the SEO driven, keyword laden, search term stuffing I insert at the back of my posts to increase visibility; but I'll tell you one thing I don't like about my son.

The kid has no respect for authority.

He thinks that just because he was his own man with his own children for 80+ years that he shouldn't have to immediately do what I say. I say that deserves a quick lesson learned with the backside of his Pa’s hand. That'll teach him; grand, son.

I tell that boy, I tell him:

Longmont loves plants, but not as much as Rudy’s old man loves red clay. He'll ask me, “Daddy, do Aurora gardens, your average Littleton gardener, and running through the trees of Northglenn experience Superior satisfaction after visiting our yard sale style setup just west of Commerce City? And I say, “little Rudifer, do succulents grow best in the southern facing Westminster, Fort Collins, Parker, Loveland, and Lakewood sun? Son, I'm trying to teach you all about jargon, pottery barn, and gardening with stoneware or porcelain pottery even when our Arvada customers just want to grow cactus, monstera, or vegetable box that would never survive a Brighton winter. So quit with all the questions and load up this last terracotta planter. We're making a delivery to Centennial quicker than fast drying cement.” If there's anything I've taught my son about hiking up Louisville to buy a plant stand second hand on Facebook Marketplace, it's not to, because we can just flip pots upside down and get the same height. Rudy and the pots aren't far from Federal Heights if you and your photosynthetic fathers are fishing for great plants and pots near Denver. All this garden talk is giving me an Erie feeling that my little man and I will be climbing up to Greeley to give a plant shop near me the perfect pot for their customers’ philodendron or to grow aloe in. One time we were driving near Wheat Ridge to check out a garage sale on our way to Broomfield and Rudy saw a cacti that reminded him of this time we were in Castle Rock succulent shopping at this pottery store near me. Rudy asked for $40 to pay for it, but I wanted to teach him the value of a dollar, so said if he could sell six MCM ceramic cylinders to the greenhouse we were visiting in the afternoon, we’d make it happen. He didn’t, and it was a Golden opportunity to teach him about delayed gratification. 

Daddy is tired now, so here’s some unsorted p. jargon: ceramics, estate sale, Boulder, planters, holder, pots, pot, tree, plant store near me, plants near me, plant shop, pottery shop, pottery shop near me, pots near me, pottery near me

Like any good plant person, a wayward rescue catches your eye from time to time. Just like how I  adopted Rudy, adopt some new plants and pots for your home today.

*** This whole schtick began because Rudy wanted me to get him a phone, but if you don’t come shop at my business soon, I’m gonna have to cut Rudy's cord. ***