1/25/24 - A Divorce-Worthy Amount of Pottery - Selling All the Pots and Plants

If you love ‘em, they might leave you.

For sale are thousands of pots and hundreds of plants (mostly houseplants and succulents); and if you buy them all, or even just the right amount, you might get to experience what a “divorce-worthy amount of pottery” is all about.

Hi everyone, I’m Ian of A House of Pots, and I’ve been specializing and stockpiling large sums of pottery for longer than I’ve been a Colorado citizen. In fact, I’m a small business dedicated to cool pots, best in market pricing, and more plants than you can shake a stick at. 

At the origin of it all was my first pottery purchase, all 30,000 pounds of it, which used communal funds, required spousal approval, and was never discussed with said spouse before purchasing thousands and thousands of dollars’ worth of pots; some of which were sight unseen.

My wife had never seen so much before, or so much rage, but luckily it worked out. You might not be so lucky if you happen to follow suit though.

But if you want to live on the wild side, love to save in bulk, and are willing to jeopardize your marriage, I’m your guy. Find motivation for your separation at:

A House of Pots 

1620 w 74th way Denver CO 80221

Saturdays & Sundays 11-6

You can contact me at:

<< 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >>

- or - 

@ahouseofpots

I’m always holding tons of glazed pottery, over 60 tons if you want to be exact, and these ceramic beauties really are things of beauty. There’s lots of new styles you can’t find anywhere else that are between 3 and 20 inches, ranging between $5 and $150 primarily.

Overall, most glazed or ceramic planters range from $10 to $100 in general. Handmade cylinders from Mexico range from $25 to $150 and have diameters between 6 and 15 inches. There are free resin / plastic pots as well, which will do well in a pinch if you’re pinched for cash and need an effective place to house your plants. 

On the plant side, I try to stock photosynthetic friends that are cost effective ($20-$35), easy to care for, and minimally don’t hate the dry colorado air. Think house plants like monstera, philodendron, pothos, ZZs, dracaena, snake plants, spider plants, christmas cactus, other cacti, succulents, and such. If you’ve never been much of a plant person before, I wouldn’t advise springing dozens unannounced on your loved ones unless you’re trying to angle for a divorce-worthy amount of plants after effects.

While I do have plenty of free items, like resin or nursery pots, and services, like potting your plants or letting you break broken pottery in slow motion videos, don’t be divorced enough from reality to think that I went out of my way to acquire, post, and distribute all these items exclusively free.

I understand you may have seen the FREE moniker and came rushing into this post faster than that guy who married Brittney Spears for a few hours in Vegas. I understand people will be upset that everything shown for sale isn’t for free. But you need to understand that I understand all of this, and if this is something that you cannot understand, then we should discuss how you can supply me with a small business loan to buy even more free things for the good people of Denver.

Nevertheless, feel free to take me up on any of the following for free:

Free resin pots

Free potting services

Free cuttings

Free rescue plants that are dying in my care

Free nursery 

Free broken pots

Free breaking of broken pots

Free multi item discounts

Free discounts for cash

Free $5 discount with social shares

Free pottery jargon

Free cardboard

Free recyclables 

Free little extras based on your purchase 

Free smells

Free smiles

Free trinkets for kids

All that free pottery pottery jargon I mentioned, which, after A/B testing posts with and without pottery jargon, is here to stay:

Looking for a backyard bargain? Can you barter for cacti? Cactus isn’t cheap, but a clay container is a deal, for deals’ comparison sake. Deck out your décor and get decorative despite this desert of design found in the mile high. Come dig my estate sized euphorbia for extra fun for your family and the exterior of your home. Whether you’re shopping for a flower or flowers, there’s free with purchase items as the fruit of your labor. We’re stockpiling more Gainey than all of the 5280, so clear out your garage, scour your garden, ask any gardener gardening; we’ve got green for you if you need something cylindrical for your house. Land landscape pots for landscaping without paying local nursery prices outside of your comfort zone. Pachypodium is a plant that eventually needs a large planter / planters for planting as they become rather large plants. We’ve got the pottery for your potting on sale comparable to a succulent or succulents. Surplus is my trade, as are tree sized yucca trees that value low water set ups like any good, xeriscape option. It’s the maceta yard sale, where it’s a macetas holiday of Italian pots, house plants, outdoor options, and glazed ceramics outdoors, like a good ceramic should be.

If you’re a fan of randomized lists of places relative to their distance from Sherrelwood, feast your eyes upon: Centennial (23 mi.), Longmont (26 mi.), Broomfield (9 mi.), Parker (32 mi.), Commerce City (5 mi.), Littleton (18 mi.), Northglenn (6 mi.), Thornton (5 mi.), Louisville (13 mi.), Front Range (1.3 to 130 mi.), Aurora (14-25 mi.), Westminster (2.5 mi.), Lafayette (14 mi.), Castle Rock (37 mi.), Fort Collins (58 mi.), Greeley (57 mi.), Lakewood (14 mi.), Arvada (6.5 mi.), Loveland (45 mi.), Denver (8 mi.), Superior (13 mi.), Erie (21 mi.), Golden (14 mi.), Boulder (20 mi.), Federal Heights (2 mi.).

Here’s what some low effort p. jargon would look like if I was just mailing it in after a divorce:

plant store near me, plants near me, plant shop, pottery shop, pottery store near me, pottery shop near me, pots near me, pottery near me, Wheat Ridge, garage sale, Broomfield, cacti, Castle Rock, succulent, Thornton, mcm, green greenhouse, ceramic, ceramics, Golden, estate sale, Boulder, planters, holder, pots, pot, tree.

To summarize, these items are for sale, there are free items and services, they’re found in North Denver off Highway 36 and the Pecos exit, I’m generally available 11-6 on the weekends (but you can reach out about other times), I do sell the plants, the pots are not for free, and you’re divorced from reality if you’ve convinced yourself that everything I just said wasn’t the case.