You’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Potz. 

Have you ever seen the movie “The Wizard of Oz”?

No?

That’s OK. It’s not that important. I’m sure it won’t come up much at all. All that you need to know is that all these great pots can be found somewhere over the rainbow at:

A House of Pots

1620 w 74th way Denver CO 80221

Friday through Sunday 

From 12 pm to 6 pm

(Though Google the address to see if extended hours or weekday availability have kicked in)

The truth is that we’re not in Kansas any more, and if you need more information about the Wizard of Potz and this operation, you can reach me at:

<< 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >> 

- or - 

@ahouseofpots

Is all this pottery for sale? 

In terms of technicolor Talaveras and technicalities, yes. These planters are all for sale. 

I had to bribe a good witch named Glinda to get them all and it cost me a few extra pennies to sneak it past the flying monkeys and munchkins as well. This means that they’re not all for free, but if you make your way up the yellow brick road to A House of Pots and ask for “The Wizard of Potz” I’ll give your party a complimentary 7.5” terracotta pot on the house. 

You know why?

Because there’s no place like home; and by home, I mean the home of low, low prices. 

Prices range from $0.50 on small terracotta to $190 on large, handmade Mexican cylinders. 

I have 6” glazed pots as low as $5 and tiny Talavera at $10. The larger Talavera are priced between $50 and $100. 

All pottery is priced 25% to 50% below standard retail prices and most can’t be found anywhere else in Colorado. Ask about what pots are two-for-one, such as machine made clay planters, and revel in the fact that I can sell 16” freeze proof pots for $60. 

Generally speaking, it’s my objective to objectively have the widest array of great pots and the lowest prices possible.

Who am I, you might ask? Well, I’m the Wizard of Potz. I’m the man with the plan to purvey the best pottery in the Mile High and Emerald Cities at price points unmatched by my peers. For years I’ve been working in the shadows, building something to best the ills of inflation brought by the Wicked Witches of the East and West. 

I only ask of thing of you:

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That you pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

Do not arouse the wrath of the Great and Powerful Potz! 

Should I say I am not open someday — come back tomorrow!

Do you presume to criticize the Great Potz? You ungrateful creatures!

Think yourselves lucky that I’m giving you an audience. 

My building is beloved by all. Uncle Henry, Auntie Em, Dorthy, et al, and let’s not forget little Toto too, would all agree that your better bet would be to uncover all that is A House of Pots before getting down to the bottom of who authored Weezer’s cover of Africa. 

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So hurry boy it's waiting here for you. A tornado of bureaucracy might shut my business down one day soon, but it's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. I’ve got so many pots that there's nothin' that a hundred men or more could ever move. This pottery can bless the rains down in Africa. 

You’re gonna have to take some time to buy the things you never had (ooh-hoo).

The wild dogs cry out in the night, but, wait … this post is about lions, tigers, and bears. Oh my, I nearly forgot the scarecrows, the tin men, and cowardly felines as well. 

All walks of life are welcome at A House of Pots. Among other things, I happen to represent the Lollipot Guild,

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the Lollipot Guild, the Lollipot Guild; and in the name of the Lollipot Guild, we wish to welcome you to and your munchkins to this pottery land.

So come on down and bring as much kin as you’re akin to. 

Now I know you might be thinking, “Oh-ho-ho-ho, rubbish! You have no free pottery here!” 

To that I say:

Begone! Before somebody drops A House of Pots on YOU.

Did you forget that earlier I bequeathed you with the magical term for a free pot? It’s “The Wizard of Potz”.

Also, does offering two-for-one / buy one, get one pottery offerings not qualify as free pots for you? No? That’s not enough free generosity for your liking? 

You cursed brat! Look what you've done! Your ingratitude is withering away my facade!

I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? Oooooh, look out! I'm going! Oooooh! Ooooooh!

Oh yeah, you can have this stuff for free too:

Free resin pots

Free nursery planters if we can find them

Free plant clippings on occasion

Free little terracotta pots for the little munchkins 

Free pottery shards

Free potting services

Free pinches of potting soil

Free pallets and portions of pallet wood

Free broken pottery past the point of repair

Free explanations of the litany of allusions to the Wizard of Oz

Free extra pot with the two-for-one, buy one, get one offers I was mentioning

Free cardboard for this and that

Free styrofoam for a little that or this

Free pottery jargon, in the form of song, from me to you

Some Pottery Jargon Over the Rainbow

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Somewhere over the Talavera rainbow

Way up high — way 36

There's a pot land that I heard of

Once in a garden lullaby

Somewhere over the stoneware rainbow

Skies are ceramic blue

And the pottery dreams that you dare to dream

Really do come true at this plant store near you

Someday I'll wish upon a houseplant star

And wake up with planters where the clouds are far behind me

Where terracotta troubles melt like lemon pots I dropped

Away at the pottery shop near me above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me getting planty

Somewhere over the red clay rainbow

Blue pots fly

Denver birds fly over the rainbow

Why then, oh, why can't (go to the pottery store near me)?

Somewhere over the plant rainbow

Blue planters fly

Bird ceramics fly over the rainbow

Why then, oh, why can't I?

If happy little blue cacti fly

Beyond the gardening rainbow

Why, oh why can't I (buy all these pots near me)?

Still don’t believe that I’m a wizard? I’ve got more keywords to burn, so let’s see what else we can learn. 

The Wizard of Potz: Why, anybody in Broomfield can have a brain. That's a very mediocre but Erie commodity. Every pusillanimous Castle Rock creature that crawls on the green greenhouse we call Earth or slinks through the slimy seas of Centennial has a brain. Back where I come from, Brighton, we have universities, seats of great and Boulder learning, where men go to become great gardening thinkers. And when they come out of this plant store near me, they think deep thoughts and with no more Superior brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven't got: a Golden diploma.

The Scarecrow: The sum of succulents and the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of fishing in Federal Heights and the remaining side. Oh joy! Rapture! I got a gardening brain! How can I ever thank you or Longmont enough?

The Wizard of Potz: Well, my fellow garage sale gardener, you can't.

Dorothy: Your pottery near me Majesty, if you were king, you wouldn't be afraid of anything?

The Cowardly Lion: Not no cactus! Not nohow!

The Tin Man: Not even a Wheat Ridge rhinoceros?

The Cowardly Lion: Jargon, comma pottery barn imposerous!

Dorothy: How about a Fort Collins hippopotamus?

The Cowardly Lion: Why, I'd Thornton thrash him from top to bottomus!

Dorothy: Supposing you met an Aurora elephant?

The Commerce City Cowardly Lion: I'd wrap him up in fiber cement cellophant!

The Westminster Scarecrow: What if it were a running brontosaurus?

The Loveland Cowardly Lion: I'd show him who was king of the philodendron forest!

The Wizard of Oz: As for you, my Northglenn galvanized friend, you want a monstera heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one from a yard sale. Estate sale hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable like some sort of porcelain Parker tree.

The Gatekeeper: Orders are nobody can see the end of the Great Potz post without more keywords! Not nobody, not nohow!

gardens, Littleton, trees, porcelain, vegetable box, Lakewood, gardener, Arvada, plant stand, Louisville, hiking, climbing, grow aloe, succulent, mcm, Gainey, holder pot, tree, plants near me, plant shop 

At this point, I think we’ve all had enough. So grab your ruby slippers, click your heels, and remember:

<< There’s no place like the home of low, low prices. The Great Potz has spoken. >>

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