7/9/22 - This Is Ian with the Pots — Pottery and Plants for Sale

Hello.

This is Ian with the pots. Nice to meet you.

No one has ever seen me before. I’ve never been seen. A pottery collection like this in Denver has never been seen before. I might not even exist.

It’s uncertain if this is all just digital tomfoolery or simply the stuff of legends.

Because this would appear to be too good to be true, some will question whether I’m real, if this is legit, or if I’m really taking all the monies for these plants and planters.

The answer to all of the above is yes. I ain’t playing.

As you presumed, I'm him. Quit playing.

As Big Yavo might suggest, trying to ride with a boss? Well just keep reading.

Ya boi has been assembling pots in North Denver, off Highway 36 and the Pecos, for some time, and you should come see for yourself some time.

Big ups to those who can find my place of business, A House of Pots, without reaching out for the address:

<< 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >>

- or -

@ahouseofpots

These amateur Carmen San Diego’s would be well advised to reach out before coming by on a weekday though, as I’m only open Saturdays and Sundays from 11 to 6.

Yes, I am available midweek at times. Yes, we can make plans for me to show up on a Tuesday. Yes, I can come in early or stay late on request. Yes, my hours fluctuate with the seasons, but year-round 11 to 5 on the weekends is typically pretty safe.

It’s safe to assume that everything you see is for sale and not free for the taking. Take a moment and ask yourself, “why would this guy, who may or may not be real, maybe he’s just digital, be giving away all these valuables?”, and come to the conclusion that I’m not. If there’s still confusion, heed the listing’s title, “7/9/22 - This Is Ian with the Pots — Pottery and Plants for Sale”, and focus on the “for sale” component to reinforce the fact that I sell pottery for profit for a living.

But why would this guy, Ian with the Pots — Pottery and Plants for Sale, mark the items as “FREE” when all logic would dictate that they are not? That’s easy, because Imaginary Ian, who may or may not be a figment of our imagination, knows how to butter up the garden guys and gals with free accessories to accent assorted purchases.

It’s true, the only thing free is your mind, but I also give away any of the following:

Pallets

Broken sh!t

Glazed shards for mosaics

Damaged terracotta

Garbage bags for transport with purchase of large cacti

Severely cracked ceramics

Things I wouldn’t otherwise sell based on poor condition

Rudy’s phone number

Styrofoam

Enough cardboard for the whole family

Enough cardboard and styro to pad your trust fund

Cash discounts with every purchase

Cuttings and rescues when available

Nursery pots that might be laying around

Free little plants for your accompanying children

Occasional bonus pots with purchase

Freebies if I like you, and you aren’t an entitled Facebook troll who thinks I’m going to give them all of these goodies for free when I might not even be real and the pots might only be digital in the first place

Time for some real talk, prices:

I have many, with no listed prices to speak of. I have a few sub-market suppliers that allow me to wholesale and pass along the best deals in Colorado. Some of my suppliers are market rate, but fabulous, and worth the extra $5 or $10. My newest supplier, the one that makes all the colorful cylinders that everyone wants, is slightly above market rate, but, as evidenced by consumer purchasing behavior, is totally worth it.

None of this tells you that my typical prices are $10 to $60 on glazed, ranging from 4” to 12” on average, with larger and more elegant designs ranging from 80 to 150 and even $200+.

Plastics and resins run $4-20, bro. Terracotta costs between $0.75 and $35, and will get you a pot up to 18”. Cylinders range from $20 to $220. Plants are $5 to $75 by and large, with your odds and ends $100+.

The big thing here, if this is all real, is multi item discounts. Purchase two or more items and receive cash discounts and potential free items. My aim is to have the best prices in Colorado before I undercut my own profit margins with unparalleled amounts of price slashing.

If you’re still wondering whether I’m for real, if I’m the real Ian, and what exactly is all for free, then chew on this free pottery jargon:

Aurora, garage sale, Arvada, planter, cacti, trees, ceramic, holder, Fort Collins, Centennial, jargon, pottery barn, fishing, Federal Heights, Commerce City, Loveland, ceramics, Denver, succulent, gardening, terracotta, cement, pottery, cactus, Louisville, yard sale, philodendron, pots, gardens, stoneware, estate sale, porcelain, vegetable box, gardener, planters, garden, Castle Rock, tree, Golden, plants, Brighton, Superior, green greenhouse, Northglenn, Lakewood, Thornton, mcm, Wheat Ridge, red clay, monstera, Boulder, Parker, pot, hiking, Erie, plant, Broomfield, running, Littleton, Longmont, Westminster, succulents, climbing, Greeley, plant stand, grow aloe

I'm right where I'm meant to be right now, and so are you. So come on down.

*** You are not him! You are not Ian! I told a btich I’m him, quit playing. Big Yavo! ***