6/26/21 - Purchase Pottery and Embrace the Religion of the Pots - Plant + Planter Sale

Tis the year of our lords, pots, and we, but simple plant shepherds, are called upon to preach the Religion of the Pots; and, thereupon, low, low prices.

To love is to share, and therefore we must tell all that we know that low, low prices do exist, for the sole sake of self-preservation as we go forth and multiply our plant collections.

Many glazed ceramics, from $10 to $130, may burn a hole in your budget, but the love of terracotta, priced $1 to $25, is infinite. Plants, such as a nice succulent, cost between $5 and $45 for the general congregation.

In any event, we are blessed to extend extended savings, with discounts and extra pots gifted for giving's sake.

That means one or two free pots or like-minded tithings paid to thee in the form of price reductions.

Our call is to extend as many planters to all, for their plants, in exchange for their money, but not too much or like in an expensive kind of way, so that their range of plant babies from clippings to big mommas may be housed comfortably throughout the Front Range.

I, Don Potts, the Don of Pots, am but a simple potsman, and I have answered this call, to share, and do so exclusively in Sherrelwood, the wood of our lords; both pots and Cheryl Wood.

That's right off Highway 36 and the Pecos exit. Express your interest in these pots or the Religion of the Pots for this place of worship's precise coordinates. You can call upon me at:

<< 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >>

- or -

@ahouseofpots

If your search for a little pot, fancy cacti, affordable house plants, large planters, or odd succulents, like an old man cactus, has left you unfulfilled, search no further as you don't have to wait to reap what you sow here. I’m here 10-7 Saturdays & Sundays as well as 2-7 Wednesdays and Fridays, so you won't have to die to die and go to heaven today.

If only absolutely free thing can free your soul, then feel free to call upon the unconditional generosity of the Religion of the Pots for any of the following:

Holey pallets

Sacred terracotta shards

Anointed anecdotes

Trinkets for children

Holy malted beverages for bodyguards

Baptism into a plant heavy lifestyle

Rescues in need of salvation

Just salvation in general

The Truth that is Pottery Jargon

==== Feel free to stop reading ====

pot·ter·y jar·gon

1: the technical terminology or characteristic idiom of special entities, Ian Bramlett and A House of Pots

2: fancy words, obscure and often pretentious garden language, marked by circumlocutions and long sentences to enhance post searchability

3: confused unintelligible language that probably has something to do with pottery

4: why are you still reading this; for the love of all that is decent, stop reading

==== I mean I told you it was jargon. Here’s Cheryl Wood again ====

What, come on Ian, do I have to really do this again? Cheryl Wood here, and I don’t even know what a lot of these things mean. What are pachypodium, maceta, gainey, macetas, xeriscape, euphorbia? I don’t know. I know he’s got a couch, more design than me, probably an iphone, and lots of exterior plant photos I look at on my tablet. There’s a surplus of items in his garden if you’re an outdoor baby who loves landscaping ceramics, potting, plants, and just the outdoors in general. It feels like a holiday when you get free with purchase pots for planting, especially when your husband is out fishing, racing, doing sports ball, or lifting weights or whatever he does, and you don’t have to worry about him saying anything about that big ol’ cactus you just got. Ok, this is hard Ian, I’m running out of ways to talk about trees, the extra container people pick up for their cacti, or leaving their laptop on their table and hiking up to this backyard in Sherrelwood. It’s better than being couch vegetables though, so leave your house, put your tires to the pavement, and treat this place like one big yard sale with decor, tree sized pots, and a deal two so good you won’t need to barter. Yeah, he’s got house plants. Yeah, he’s got succulents. Yeah, he’s got green ceramic options a mile high above sea level, so plant yourself here if you value the trade of getting nice nursery things as cheap as a planter is going to find for their deck in the 5280. Some cacti are in flower now, and you don’t have be climbing in nature to see them, or getting a bargain on a succulent, because deals grow trees around here and there’s never a shortage of water. This is landscape land for the home gardener, whether they dig decorative Italian clay planters, yucca that bare no fruit, or just local gardening outside with pottery, desert flowers, and the perfect pot for a vegetable. Ok Ian that’s all I’m gonna write. I gotta go home now. Thank you for the opportunity.

==== Mandatory Portuguese ====

A religião da cerâmica = The Religion of the Pots

==== Distance makes a difference ====

Just for fun, here are some assorted distances of how far you’ll need to drive to the shop in Sherrelwood (0 mi.).

UNDER 5 MILES: Federal Heights (2 mi.), Westminster (2.5 mi.), Thornton (5 mi.), and Commerce City (5 mi.).

UNDER 10 MILES: Northglenn (6 mi.), Arvada (6.5 mi.), Denver (8 mi.), and Broomfield (9 mi.).

UNDER 20 MILES: Superior (13 mi.), Louisville (13 mi.), Lafayette (14 mi.), Golden (14 mi.), Lakewood (14 mi.), Aurora (14-25 mi.), Littleton (18 mi.), Boulder (20 mi.)

UNDER 30 MILES: Erie (21 mi.), Centennial (23 mi.), Longmont (26 mi.)

OVER 30 MILES: to give what you’ve got to give: Parker (32 mi.), Castle Rock (37 mi.), Loveland (45 mi.), Greeley (57 mi.), Fort Collins (58 mi.).

*** It’s time for your pilgrimage ***