6/12/21 - The Call of the Potsman: Come Purchase My Pots

Plants.

They call to you.

But it is true that as yours grew, it also outgrew that only pot it ever knew.

And in that moment, you too knew what I know to be true: the call of the pots, man.

As a potsman, I source pottery from sea to shining sea so you can save percentages approaching fifty on big pots and lots of little planters.

Plant yourself here in Sherrelwood, North Denver, and bask in all this photosynthesis with no upkeep. It beckons thee.

Plants range from $5 to $300. Most fall between $10 and $45.

A glazed ceramic planter or cactus friendly terracotta costs between $2 to $80.

Behold, I hold some glorious collector items, Gainey and Hammerly. They're timeless, magnificent, and discounted when purchasing other items.

All purchases of two or more items get immediate cash discounts. Larger and sporadic purchases receive free pots.

True potsmen offer their customers a variety of free trinkets, like worthless rubbage, broken pottery, terracottas for kids, pallets (I’ve got some interesting ones right now), and best of all, the occasional plant cutting or rescue.

Find all this and more off Highway 36 and the Pecos exit in North Denver. Message me for the exact address.

I’m available 4 days a week, on the weekends and two weekdays. Wednesday and Friday I’m available from 2 p.m. to 7 p.m. On Saturday and Sunday I’m available from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m., though I usually run late in the mornings.

Call me with any questions, or to receive the address:

<< 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >>

Here’s the part of the post I call pottery jargon. Feel free to stop reading.

==== Feel free to stop reading ====

pot·ter·y jar·gon

1: the technical terminology or characteristic idiom of special entities, Ian Bramlett and A House of Pots

2: fancy words, obscure and often pretentious garden language, marked by circumlocutions and long sentences to enhance post searchability

3: confused unintelligible language that probably has something to do with pottery

4: why are you still reading this; for the love of all that is decent, stop reading

==== I mean I told you it was jargon. Here’s Cheryl Wood again ====

What, come on Ian, do I have to really do this again? Cheryl Wood here, and I don’t even know what a lot of these things mean. What are pachypodium, maceta, gainey, macetas, xeriscape, euphorbia? I don’t know. I know he’s got a couch, more design than me, probably an iphone, and lots of exterior plant photos I look at on my tablet. There’s a surplus of items in his garden if you’re an outdoor baby who loves landscaping ceramics, potting, plants, and just the outdoors in general. It feels like a holiday when you get free with purchase pots for planting, especially when your husband is out fishing, racing, doing sports ball, or lifting weights or whatever he does, and you don’t have to worry about him saying anything about that big ol’ cactus you just got. Ok, this is hard Ian, I’m running out of ways to talk about trees, the extra container people pick up for their cacti, or leaving their laptop on their table and hiking up to this backyard in Sherrelwood. It’s better than being couch vegetables though, so leave your house, put your tires to the pavement, and treat this place like one big yard sale with decor, tree sized pots, and a deal two so good you won’t need to barter. Yeah, he’s got house plants. Yeah, he’s got succulents. Yeah, he’s got green ceramic options a mile high above sea level, so plant yourself here if you value the trade of getting nice nursery things as cheap as a planter is going to find for their deck in the 5280. Some cacti are in flower now, and you don’t have be climbing in nature to see them, or getting a bargain on a succulent, because deals grow trees around here and there’s never a shortage of water. This is landscape land for the home gardener, whether they dig decorative Italian clay planters, yucca that bare no fruit, or just local gardening outside with pottery, desert flowers, and the perfect pot for a vegetable. Ok Ian that’s all I’m gonna write. I gotta go home now. Thank you for the opportunity.

==== Mandatory Portuguese ====

Homem de cerâmica = Potsman

==== Distance makes a difference ====

Just for fun, here are some assorted distances of how far you’ll need to drive to the shop in Sherrelwood (0 mi.).

UNDER 5 MILES: Federal Heights (2 mi.), Westminster (2.5 mi.), Thornton (5 mi.), and Commerce City (5 mi.).

UNDER 10 MILES: Northglenn (6 mi.), Arvada (6.5 mi.), Denver (8 mi.), and Broomfield (9 mi.).

UNDER 20 MILES: Superior (13 mi.), Louisville (13 mi.), Lafayette (14 mi.), Golden (14 mi.), Lakewood (14 mi.), Aurora (14-25 mi.), Littleton (18 mi.), Boulder (20 mi.)

UNDER 30 MILES: Erie (21 mi.), Centennial (23 mi.), Longmont (26 mi.)

OVER 30 MILES: to give what you’ve got to give: Parker (32 mi.), Castle Rock (37 mi.), Loveland (45 mi.), Greeley (57 mi.), Fort Collins (58 mi.).

*** It’s about time you answered the call ***