4/24/21 – Come on Down, the Price Is Right Pottery Sale – I Sell Plants & Pots

You have too many plants. Frankly, it’s what keeps me in business selling many, many pots.

Plants are a good thing; pots are also a good thing; but there is such thing as too much of a good thing. Sometimes, we’ve got a good thing going and then life goes and uproots everything, forcing us to surrender to circumstance and make the best out of the situation.

It’s come to my attention that, in some situations, it’s best to just let go, and so I, Don Potts, the don of the pots, have set up a safe surrender station at my shop for plant parents of all kinds to relinquish their unwanted or inadequately cared for plants, planters, succulents, and assorted garden accoutrement for any reason and without judgment.

Perhaps you got the job and have to move across the country. Leave your plants with me.

Perhaps you lost the job and have to move across the country. Leave your planters aqui.

Perhaps you tried your hand at cacti and now you’re the guy with spikes in his hands. Let your cactus come live with me.

No, I won’t pay you for your donated goods, but you can rest assured they’re in good hands. If they’re good enough, I’ll even sell them on your behalf and keep the proceeds. Quality plants primarily range from $7.50 to $45 at my shop and pots from $2 to $85; so, with a flip of a switch, that succulent you suck at caring for can help pay for my electric bill.

If your items are no good, I can wait until you’re a good distance away from Sherrelwood, the location of the plant and pottery safe surrender, which is right off Highway 36 and the Pecos exit, before I discard it or hand it to an unsuspecting passerby.

Whether your items are of monetary value to me or not, feel free to donate your most prized valuables anytime between 10 am and 6 pm on Saturdays or Sundays. I’m available midweek by appointment for you to shop, donate, or surrender to the healing powers of the pots; but you’ll need to coordinate with me first.

I only surrender my address upon request.

Feel free to reach me at:

<< 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >>

- or -

@ahouseofpots

You might be confused about what I’m willing to accept and then sell, perhaps because you thought I was the one giving away all the free stuff or because you just get confused easily. Don’t get it confused though, this post is dedicated to you giving me valuable glazed pottery, preferably smaller, for free which I then turn into pot profit for my shop.

Sure, I’ll give any visitor broken pottery, nursery pots, rescue plants or cuttings when available, terracotta for kids, beer for bodyguards, pottery jargon, anecdotes, price gouging antidotes, scorn supported with “air” quotes, or discounts / free items with their purchase, but this is about your surrender, not mine.

In time, you’ll realize you’re better off with less, and you should promptly donate all garden related valuables to my cause. Why am I so confident? Because I’m the don, and through the magic of ceramic, I’ve seen this play out a time or two.

Some might say this is too “good” to be true, but pictures don’t lie. Take Kari for example, featured in this post’s lead image. She’s had been plant parenting for eons when suddenly she felt compelled to get involved. Her giant 22 x 22 matte white cube, retailing in Denver for approximately $200, is an easy sell at $85. Following were about $200 in houseplants and glazed ceramics which were promptly surrendered the same day to a paying customer.

The generosity of Denverites like you, the reader, and Kari are what truly keep this little shop loaded with low, low prices and in opposition of the egregious market rates found all over Colorado. Give me your valuables free of charge so I can continue to make the competition surrender to the might of my low, low prices.

Yes, let’s not forget that I sell plants and pots, but let’s also not forget that you now know it’s permissible to give me items of monetary value without receiving anything in exchange. After all, it’s said that it’s better to give than receive, you know.

That’s why I’m about to give you a very generous portion of pottery jargon.

==== Feel free to stop reading ====

pot·ter·y jar·gon

1: the technical terminology or characteristic idiom of special entities, Ian Bramlett and A House of Pots

2: obscure and often pretentious garden language marked by circumlocutions and long sentences to enhance post searchability

3: confused unintelligible language that probably has something to do with pottery

4: why are you still reading this; for the love of all that is decent, stop reading, and take a moment to see what you can do for me for a change

==== I mean I told you it was jargon ====

So you’ve got plants climbing out of your glazed pots that you got at a yard sale and there’s so much extra you don’t even know where to begin potting. Stop, I’ve got a bargain for you better than free with purchase, a deal that’s more satisfying than a gardener with their outdoor tablet, and the value I’ve been fishing for: you surrendering your pachypodium, planters, macetas, euphorbia, house plants, ceramics, and more for a good cause. Price hiking is a real thing and costs are racing upwards everywhere but the exterior of my backyard. Instead of starting a new vegetable starter, planting new flowers, or just enjoying the outdoors with your family, you could give me your valuables instead. Please don’t safely surrender your baby though, I can’t watch them while you’re on holiday. Should this transpire, I’m going to put this child to work running my xeriscape landscaping. No, your surrendered son won’t be spending his time biking the burbs of Sherrelwood, and there’s no garage for them to sleep in; and yes, I might trade him for a laptop or real nice Gainey planter. But if you treat your little Alejandro Galaza like a set of discarded tires, are you surprised to find I don’t dig you abandoning a 36 year old on my property? If we made a trade for this abandoned person over a series of deals, maybe for some green, a tree, a couch, some cold tolerant landscape cacti, or a decorative maceta, then I guess I inherited this person by design. I promise not to give him the vegetables he needs to grow though. There will be no fruit, yucca flower, or Italian herbs for him to much on. I’m taking away his iphone. He won’t be given a garden bed to sleep in, or be granted access to the home. For water, he’ll need to learn how to process cactus from the land like a good mile high desert nomad. When not gardening the outside of my estate with surplus ceramic pottery, trees, and a clay container or eight, your abandoned manchild can lift weights by pushing around any cheap planter container I point at, having a ball in the 5280 moving my local deck décor from once side of the house to another. So if you’re going to surrender a baby, I request it be one that I can barter a laptop for, and not just some shit grandson you’re leaving behind for a life as an unglorified nursery planter. If you don’t have plants or pots to give, I much prefer cash or check instead of the grandchild with a checkered past.

Just for fun, here are some assorted distances of how far you’ll need to drive to come give me things at the shop in Sherrelwood (0 mi.).

UNDER 5 MILES to give me things: Federal Heights (2 mi.), Westminster (2.5 mi.), Thornton (5 mi.), and Commerce City (5 mi.).

UNDER 10 MILES to provide me resources: Northglenn (6 mi.), Arvada (6.5 mi.), Denver (8 mi.), and Broomfield (9 mi.).

UNDER 20 MILES to donate your plants: Superior (13 mi.), Louisville (13 mi.), Lafayette (14 mi.), Golden (14 mi.), Lakewood (14 mi.), Aurora (14-25 mi.), Littleton (18 mi.), Boulder (20 mi.)

UNDER 30 MILES to gift a large planter: Erie (21 mi.), Centennial (23 mi.), Longmont (26 mi.)

OVER 30 MILES to give what you’ve got to give: Parker (32 mi.), Castle Rock (37 mi.), Loveland (45 mi.), Greeley (57 mi.), Fort Collins (58 mi.).

Here’s this new thing I’m doing. Mandatory Portuguese:

Planta = plant

If you’ve read this far, it goes without saying that the plant and planter safe surrender idea is actually a good idea. Not for any of the reasons I’ve listed though. I actually do collect giveaway plants and pots from people who have too much or are moving. I earmark these for the less fortunate though. It might not surprise you to hear I get thousands of messages from people all over Colorado weekly about pots and plants; some are in no position to purchase. Many of my inquirers lack the ability to drive, because they’re in assisted care facilities, are ill, or just can’t afford transportation. These are some of the types I’m always eager to lend a hand to and deliver for, even when doing so costs me time with my family and money. So if you have extra plants and pots, give them to me, and I’ll help them find a good home. And if you have extra money for plants and pots, give it to me, and I’ll help it find a good home.

*** Donate your sellable valuables to me today ***